Suburban Raccoons

We have written a lot about how you should get rid of raccoons, safety in handling them and health issues related to raccoon scat. We thought it was time to write a funny story that actually happened to the writer when we had raccoons in our attic and we were trying to get rid of them.

Raccoons in our Attic – Humane Trap

I had purchased a humane trap and placed it on the roof near the entrance they created into our attic. I had placed peanut butter, jam even some meat in the trap in an effort to try to get them into the trap. They would be released in the country. Unfortunately, I was never able to capture one of them in the trap. They were just too smart and the parents obviously trained their youngsters to stay away from the entrance. They did manage to sneak their paws through the wire and get at the peanut butter without setting off the trap. Pretty amazing and pretty smart if you ask me.

Raccoons in our Attic – My funny Raccoon Story

Anyway this one evening I had just finished working outside and needed a shower. After my shower, I put on a pair of shorts and walked outside to look at the roof to see if there were any results. As I am standing on the porch looking up at the roof, a gust of wind blows the door to our home shut and it automatically locked. This should not have been a big problem until you hear what happened next.

Let me set up the picture. I am standing on our front step, with the front door locked. All I have on is a pair of shorts, no shirt and I am in my bare feet. As I am standing there a raccoon comes around the corner of the driveway and he is in a hurry. He runs halfway across the driveway towards me before he realizes that I am standing there. He needs to get past me so that he can climb the wall and get to his den which is in my attic.

Raccoons are Shocked

Imagine the raccoon’s surprise and mine when we both realize that each other is there. I have a look of shock on my face. He is shocked when he sees this human who he knows is a mortal enemy.

The raccoon’s reaction is to stand on his haunches and become as large as possible and hiss at me. This is a standard defense mode of many animals when confronted with a possible enemy and then he takes a step forward towards me and hisses again. For a moment all I can think of is that he is going to attack me and I have nothing to defend myself with. I cannot get in the door that is locked and I do not have a stick or anything to use to even throw at him. So what would you do in a situation like this?

Dealing with Wild Animals

I thought of the training videos I have seen when confronted with a bear. You do not turn and run, Instead, you put your arms up to make yourself look larger than you are and then you yell or make a loud noise. They just might back off and leave you alone. Now I know this is just a little raccoon, but what are you going to do in a split second when you have nothing to defend yourself with?

I raised my arms, stood on my tiptoes, and hissed right back at him. It was amazing. He stopped and took a second look at me as if to say what human is crazy enough to do this to him. I hissed again and waved my arms and he suddenly took off back the way he had come around the side of the house.

I rang the doorbell and have endured ridicule and teasing from my wife and friends ever since then once they have recovered from laughing so much. Imagine being afraid of a little raccoon. I once told this story at a party and had people in stitches, they were laughing so hard.

How to Get Rid of Raccoons

Anyway if you have raccoons in your attic or just want to know how to get rid of raccoons, take a look at some of our other posts that deal with this serious subject. Hope you enjoyed my story. It is a true story and it really happened the way I wrote it.

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